


Color Him Rainbow

by AwkwardBlueKitty



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gerard is a BadAss, Humor, Locking people up together equals a new couple, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-05
Updated: 2012-09-05
Packaged: 2017-11-13 15:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardBlueKitty/pseuds/AwkwardBlueKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard plays cupid. He helps quite a few couples hook up. And is all started when he didn't want Scott with his granddaughter, Allison, anymore. Go figure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Color Him Rainbow

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, the fun I had with this one! I hope you all enjoy it! :)

Gerard simply doesn’t understand why Allison chooses Scott to be her boyfriend. Well, he doesn’t really _try_ to understand because he doesn’t feel like Scott deserves that much of his time. He fears it might take him a few years to understand it and not even then. So he decides to put an end to it because it’s so much quicker. Since trying to kill Scott failed several times already, he figures he’ll simply get Scott to start sniffing elsewhere. Have him be another family’s problem and not the Argents.

Normally he’ll torture and kill anyone who cheats or breaks Allison’s heart. However he can’t wait for Scott to do just that. So he watches the boy, maybe stalks him a bit. As he observes Scott in his natural habitat, he can’t help but wonder how Scott’s mother lets him roam Beacon Hills without supervision. Scott is a bag full of air. Whatever. It’s not his problem and hopefully soon enough not Allison’s problem either. It’s a shame he ‘promised’ to behave and not kill any wolves unless they went rogue.

So yeah, by watching Scott he’s able to pick up on something interesting. There’s a boy name Isaac Lahey that Scott seems to be awfully friendly with. Who knew he was right? And he doesn’t even have a gaydar or whatever it’s called. When he first met Scott, he couldn’t help but wonder why Scott’s with his grand _daughter_. So when he sees Scott eyeing the poor boy all the time, he starts hatching a plan. A plan he likes to call “Idiotic Puppy Love”. Whatever, it doesn’t matter about the name, just as long as it works in the end. But before moving his plan into motion, he decides to mess around with Scott and test his theory.

He so enjoys hearing the growls and seeing the scowls the boy sends his way when he does something to Isaac. He innocently, Stiles calls it creepy, puts a hand on Isaac’s shoulder and BAM! Scott practically drags the boy away from him. Give the boy a compliment and Scott comes in and gives the boy a better compliment. He’s starting to wonder if his granddaughter is really that dense or in some serious denial about her ‘boyfriend’. He’ll worry about that later. Right now, he’s on a mission.

However, the idea that Scott’s simply ‘protecting’ someone from his pack does pop into his head. He decides to mess around with Scott’s best friend, Stiles Stilinski, to see if Scott is merely the overprotective type with others. He doesn’t want to look like an idiot by mistaking Scott’s affection for protectiveness. He has an image to uphold.

Some pretty interesting results there. Apparently Derek doesn’t want him anywhere near the Stilinski boy. Oh boy, he lost count how many death glares he’s gotten from Derek. Well, if he’s that curious he can simply count how many times he mentally laugh when Derek would send him one. Very interesting indeed, he’ll explore that more at a later time whether it’s for blackmail purposes or some good material if he’s ever bored.

Scott merely looks more like a puppy who’s constipated when he touches Stiles’s shoulder. Sure he growls at him but it’s nowhere near the growls he gets when he touches Isaac. And he knows Isaac is in love with Scott by the way he looks at him and the utter disappointment that covers his face when Allison walks into the room. He almost wants to shake Isaac by the shoulders and tell him he can do so much better than Scott. What can he say? The kid kinda grew on him. Isaac’s like a huge puppy unlike Scott who’s like a dumbass mutt. But he has to remind himself he’s doing this for Allison. So now he knows for a fact Scott’s gay for Isaac and vice versa. Good. He’s so glad people merely think of him as old and weird when he does odd things.   

Anyway, now that he knows Scott wants into Isaac’s pants, he needs to be able to let Scott know this little fact too. He’s pretty sure the mutt isn’t even aware of the fact he likes the pup. His solution is to lock them up for a few days where no one can find them. Don’t worry, he’ll put some food and water in there. He’s not a complete brute. Actually it’s because he quite likes the Isaac boy so he doesn’t want _him_ to starve. Scott is just lucky. He feels a little bad about pushing Scott onto Isaac but it has to be done for the greater good. So he manages to knock them both unconscious without the boys even knowing it was him who did it. He then dumps them into a hidden ditch with a cell he has laying around. Yeah, he’s that good. Old man: one and youngsters: zero. He hopes they like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and if they don’t, well too bad. They should be lucky he was being considerate.

Who would have thought putting two boys who are gay for each other in an enclosed room would produce a new couple? Color him rainbow. It’s a good thing he bought some tissue boxes for his granddaughter. He’s newly single granddaughter who Scott breaks up with two days after being found.

It isn’t so much he’s getting bored but Gerard starting to notice Stiles and Derek’s unresolved sexual tension is getting way out of hand. He started picking up on it when he was trying to get Scott and Isaac together a few weeks back. What utterly amazes him is the fact no one seems to care, or maybe they’re scared, to tell these two horny guys to screw each other already. Put everyone out of their misery. He might suffocate on all of this crap, so he decides hatch another plan he likes to call “Solving the Obvious Sexual Tension”.

For this one he knows he has to be careful because he’s dealing with a horny alpha and a horny teenage boy whose father is the sheriff of the town. Wait, who is he kidding? He’s Gerard Argent, he knows no fear. So he dives in by making a bunch of innuendoes. Naturally he doesn’t make those towards them but just in general. Let their minds wander off into that realm of thought to the point where they can’t take it anymore and jump each other. He’ll just claim ignorance or something if someone ever calls him out on it. Although he’s noticing his invitations to meetings and special events are coming in less and less. But he doesn’t care, these two needs to get over whatever it is they’re on and get on each other. At this point, it’s more for his sanity then seeing these two happy. Actually, it was never about their happiness, just his boredom.

There’s a break through when he lies about someone hitting on Stiles in front of Derek. Okay, he may have over exaggerated but it causes Derek to snap. When Stiles comes into the room, Derek immediately drags the poor boy away and growls out for no one to disturb them. No one sees Stiles and Derek for two days. Jealously is such a beautiful thing. Oh how Gerard just loves the look on papa Stilinski’s face when Peter tells him what’s going on at his place. He wouldn’t have mind seeing Derek behind bars but he gets the feeling Stilinski knew this was coming. Actually, everyone and their dogs should have seen Derek and Stiles coming. Now there can be clean air to breath.

During the two days of no Stiles and Derek, Gerard picks up on something extremely interesting. He even laughs out loud and he never laughs out loud. It seems like papa Stilinski and Peter Hale might have some unsolved sexual tensions of their own. He doesn’t know if this is one of those ‘monkey sees, monkey wants’ situations. He always thought both males had a thing for the McCall woman. Go figure. Naturally he takes a closer look. He’s got time to waste so he hangs out at the cop station. He’s pretty sure Sheriff Stilinski is filing his presents here as ‘keeping an eye’ on him. Whatever, he doesn’t care. He’ll call this operation ‘Solving the Obvious Sexual Tension pt. 2’.   

He guesses since Peter’s nephew is shacking up with motormouth at the Hale’s place, Peter doesn’t really have anywhere else to go. Surprisingly, or maybe not, papa Stilinski offers Peter a guestroom at his house. Peter declines politely all the while eyeing the sheriff up and down. How Stilinski fails to notices this, is completely beyond him. Even one of the officers at the station is raising an eyebrow at two males. This is when he decides to jump in and offers Peter a room at his house, using the ‘kids these days, no respect for others’ excuse. Perfect. So Peter’s options are either his house, Stilinski’s house, or the house where two horny males are making up for months of pent-up sexual frustration. Almost immediately Peter turns to Stilinski and tells him ‘sure’. Perfect. Two grown males in a house alone should result in some interesting things. He hopes this new couple causes some groans from a certain teenager and a grumpy wolf.

The next day he questions the Sheriff if he had a good night last night and notices the slight blush that creeps onto the other man’s cheeks. Hmm, the Hale men are sure quick when given an opportunity. He proceeds to spend all day secretly interrogating the man. Asking perfectly normal questions like how long has he known Peter, has he dated anyone lately, is he interested in anyone and etc. He also decides to talk with the Sheriff about the fact his son is now dating Derek. How the Hale and Stilinski families are now intertwine. Talking about having to spend holidays and events together, things like that. He tells Mr. Stilinski that he better get used to the Hale men in his life, especially Peter Hale. Stilinski doesn’t even question him on that last part, just nods his head.

He likes to think his words sank in with Stilinski. He figures he might as well put his manipulation skills to work although it really helps that both Peter and Stilinski like eyeing each other to begin with. Seriously, are people here in Beacon Hills oblivious from the obvious?  

After the second night of Peter sleeping over at the Stilinski’s place, he notices a hickey on Stilinski’s neck. That and the fact Peter comes and ‘talks’ with him about bugging/messing around with papa Stilinski. Damn he’s good, three couples under his belt now. He’ll just dub them as the HS family, and no, he’s not talking about horse shit. Apparently the Hale men can’t get enough of the Stilinski men and vice versa. For some odd reason, this doesn’t surprise him because he doesn’t care. Let the Hale and Stilinski bloodline die out. No sweat off his back.

He’s notice his granddaughter is still sulking around despite her saying she is fine and that she’s happy for Scott and Isaac. Normally he’ll understand where she is coming from, not really, but it’s been two months now. She admits to kinda knowing about Scott crushing on Isaac but never knew the extent of it. He so glad to hear that, to know she’s not _that_ dense or delusional. He thought of hooking up Allison with a boy name Greenberg but when he heard him say ‘I need to unleash some demons!’ and then proceed to go to the restroom, he vowed to never let Greenberg anywhere near the Argent gene pool. So he directs his attention to another boy name Jackson Whittemore. Oh boy, that’s when he stumbles onto a love triangle or square. He doesn’t know. Teenagers these days, they just have to love everyone and everything.

He doesn’t even know where to start in this crazy ass mess. He just knows Danny Mahealani likes Jackson but stares at Matt some times, a guy name Matt Daehler likes Danny, and Jackson is one confuse piece of shit. Apparently Jackson likes both Danny and Lydia Martin but doesn’t know what to do, and Lydia loves to make ogling eyes at Jackson. And no one seems to know any of these facts. How can all of them be so oblivious? He was able to pick up all of this nonsense in one freaking day! He’s seriously going to have to check the water supply for Beacon Hill or something.

He’s not sure he wants to step into this teenage drama crap, he’s not _that_ bored. If he was, sure he’ll dive in and take his time with these idiots but he’s not. So he does the next best thing, he locks up Jackson and Lydia in a cell and no, it’s a different cell from the one where Scott and Isaac were put in. Surprise, surprise they hook up. Good. He sees Danny boy sadden by the news of the new ‘royal couple’. He doesn’t understand why they’re dubbed that, he thinks it’s stupid but whatever, they’re not his concern anymore. Now this gives Matt the opening to comfort Danny and win him over. However Matt sucks, royally. After a week of no progress, he locks up Danny and Matt into a different cell. What? He had a few cells installed just in case he needed them. He ignores his son’s questions and looks directed at him. Heck, he ignores everyone’s questions and accusations. He doesn’t see what the big deal is. He’s helping. Does no one appreciate being behind bars for the sake of love? Ungrateful brats if they don’t.

He almost, almost has a heartattack when he finds out the reason why Allison has stop mopping around and started taking showers again. Thank god for the last one, like really. He was this close to hosing her down. While he was doing his operation ‘Fucking High Schoolers These Days, Got to Do Everything’, Allison and Erica became a couple. His little girl went from dating a he wolf to a she wolf. He finds out that it was fucking Scott who hooked the two up. Oh, how he wants to kill that boy.

He doesn’t know what to do. He really doesn’t. So he thinks about it. He guesses after dating someone like Scott McCall, she must be traumatized from guys. He can’t really blame her. With a heavy heart, he guesses he can allow Allison to jump to her own team. He just wonders how long he should allow their relationship to continue. Then again, they’re just high schoolers. Once Allison starts college, she’ll change her mind. He can be patient. Yeah, he’ll let this one slide for now. Erica is better than Scott by far.

Gerard can’t believe all his handy work and not a single ‘thank you’ in return. If it wasn’t for him, none of these couples here at the BBQ would have gotten together. Sure, he knows he’s a dick sometimes but that’s only because he gets bored easily and doesn’t find collecting shit fun. Truth be told, he hadn’t really planned on playing cupid with these oblivious idiots/misfits. But what can he say? Other than he was really bored at the time when he was hooking most of these couples up. It all started when he wanted his granddaughter to stop dating the puppy moron known as Scott McCall. Man, he hates Scott. Maybe he should spare Isaac from Scott? 

**Author's Note:**

> ....I think there needs to be more Peter Hale/Sheriff Stilinski stories :(


End file.
